You may have heard quotes like this before. From the über-famous Twilight series to Shakespeare, many poets, writers, and teachers have illuminated (no pun intended) this delicate balance between the dark & light of our lives. And I must say, I believe I just lived this paradox.
You might remember that back in July, I hosted a one-month-sober challenge where I invited THE WORLD (haha, literally) to join me in spending the whole month of July sober in order to discover deeper clarity and awareness about ourselves and our journeys. WELL OH BOY... be careful what you wish for, cuz I got a BIG dose of gut-wrenching clarity that month. *Just goes to show how powerful our intentions are, yes?!*
I wrote about what I learned from sobriety at the end of the challenge, but what I didn't share with you was the deep & utter darkness I experienced that month. It began with realizing that I no longer want to pursue a music career at this time in my life. All of the work, schooling, equipment, practice, hope, tears, money, & energy that has gone into pursuing music for the last 4 years has come to a deadening, empty, depressing halt. If that didn't hurt enough, I saw the Amy Winehouse documentary (about her ultimate demise as an artist and beautiful being) and felt the heart-shattering pain of her turbulent journey that I could relate to in so many ways. I saw other very dark things around me: in my friends, on TV, in my nightmares. I couldn't get out of this heaviness and despair.
BUT I KNEW, deep deep down, that there would be light after this. I remember telling my mom on the phone, "I really know that everything will be alright, but I'm just tired of going through this." Please hear me, it takes relentless faith and so much love & compassion for yourself to live through these dark nights of the soul, and after living it myself, I KNOW that YOU CAN GET THROUGH IT TOO! So rest assured, sweet pea, light is on the way...
For the whole month of August, I needed rest and healing from this powerful clearing experience. It really felt like I had been energetically gutted of so many old beliefs, patterns, and plans. I didn't know what inspiration could possibly fill me next, I just knew I was empty. I needed rest.
My friends, I'm still patiently waiting for the next surge of energy, purpose, and inspiration to come, but I believe it's being delicately formed in me now. I feel glimpses of hope, light, and ideas. I woke up this morning with soft & gentle guidance: close your eyes, meditate, draw from your decks of tarot cards, write. this. blog. *Thank you.*
2015 began with SO MUCH LIGHT and inspiration that I was freaking blinded and completely blissed out, like I was surfing a mountain of jewels. YEAH. Then exactly halfway through the year, just like I asked, I was given the deepest, darkest clearing for the highest, brightest clarity. I can only imagine the kind of light and inspiration that is coming to me now as a result of this powerful experience.
*Dear friends... the more darkness you experience, the more light you are capable of experiencing!! Trust that.*
So... my tips for getting through your darkest times??
1. Go deeper into the darkness: When you feel yourself becoming sad, lost, empty, follow that feeling deeper. Allow it to be, and discover all that it is teaching you. Let it happen. Be heavy and dark as long as you need to so that you can be cleared completely.
2. Have the utmost faith that light is on the way: You can only truly allow the dark times to fully be expressed if you have the utmost faith that everything will be okay and that this dark night of the soul is temporary. BELIEVE that light, hope, & inspiration are on the way, and you'll find the patience and courage to delve deeper into your darkness.
3. Love yourself the most: Resist the urge to judge yourself for not being the "perfect" happy person who has everything figured out. News flash: that's no one! Have so much love & compassion for yourself. Speak to yourself as you would a scared child. Be the safest person for you to be around. Love yourself more than anyone else ever could. Your own self-love will see you through this.
It is with truly humbling gratitude & grace that I share with you my stories and my inspirations. It is my honor to be connecting with you in this way.
So much love,
Photo credit: Picture Quotes
Gia writes about her journey through life and the many twists and turns of spiritual growth, relationships, health & healing, life as a performer, and the ever-unfolding path back to her heart.
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