Shame is one of the lowest emotions we experience as souls in a human body. When I say low, I mean that every emotion has a frequency. Those feelings that make us feel light, lifted, and energized have a high frequency. And those feelings that make us feel weighed down, exhausted, and drained have a low frequency. And shame? It's right down there with the lowest of vibes.
It's that feeling of deep regret, guilt, and embarrassment.
For some of us, shame is a part of our daily life. Perhaps our families taught us to feel ashamed of ourselves for certain behaviors, traits, or desires, and we've never learned another way to feel about ourselves. For others of us, shame is a rare and dreaded feeling that we avoid and don't quite know how to cope with.
Though it's a shame that we ever have to feel so low, there is a higher purpose for this dark emotion that contributes beautifully to the evolution of the soul. When we approach shame as a teacher and a blessing, it actually helps us shift back into the light.
Shame from a spiritual perspective
The experience of shame is often brought about when we awaken to a part of us that was previously hidden. Where the ego is unaware of itself, it creates a shadow: a dark place to hide away the parts of ourselves that we can't accept. And when some of these shadow elements are brought into awareness, it can be very painful. We can feel ashamed about these parts of ourselves that we previously kept hidden out of awareness.
What we may not realize is that this is all a part of our awakening journey. We came into these human bodies as powerful souls to enlighten the darkness, to shed light on the shadow. This is our healing process. When the darkness has come fully into the light, we can integrate all aspects of the soul and return to our oneness with the Universe. So the soul journey is really all about bringing light to the darkness within.
This shame that we feel, then, is actually a powerful sign that transformation is taking place.
Shame is a messenger
When shame shows up because the ego has become aware of its shadow, we are being given an important message: healing is taking place, darkness is becoming light, and it's time NOW, more than ever, to love yourself completely.
After an element of shadow has been brought into the light, it can never again return to the darkness. This is a powerful healing transformation.
How long has this shadow been hidden? For how many lifetimes have we been blind to our lower aspects? My friend, this journey of awakening has been long and tiresome. The fact that we are NOW, in this moment, bringing a part of the shadow into the light is a real miracle! It is time to celebrate our progress, not agonize over the person we once were.
When we experience shame, we often ruminate about our mistakes and torture ourselves with judgment. I'm suggesting that we celebrate instead. We have become brave enough to see the truth. We have become awakened enough to heal old patterns. Recognizing the shadow is 90% of the battle, and the shame we feel is a sign that we made it. Instead of sinking into despair, let your shame swiftly transform into compassion and love. Now more than ever, we deserve our own love.
In these moments where shame arises, receive it as a messenger, a sign that you have accomplished a great healing. You are integrating your spirit; you are becoming whole. Call upon your higher self, your inner wisdom and light. Wrap yourself up in the most beautiful blanket of love and acceptance. Shame is a sign that you are becoming more whole and darkness is coming into the light.
For a firsthand experience of this healing transformation, please enjoy the meditation practice below.
It is an honor to share my inspirations with you. I hope that you have become inspired to give yourself more love, not less. Stay inspired with me and try out my free Inspired Life starter kit.
I can't wait to hear about your amazing journey, beautiful soul.
For centuries, monks have lived in solitude on distant mountain peaks in order to meditate, connect with the divine, and find inner peace. Of course, these are the ideal circumstances in which to find your center and live in bliss.
But you and I? We live in a time where we are being asked to find peace while living IN THE WORLD. With wars. With mass shootings at music concerts. With political turmoil. With racism, sexism, and discrimination. With earthquakes, hurricanes, floods, tornadoes, and forest fires that destroy cities and towns. With angry, scared people.
Okay so, this is a much more challenging task, right?
My friend, we were born to do it. There is no mistake that we are living on the planet right now. This mission for peace is the destiny we came to actualize.
Many of us will find the calm & quiet we desire in our own homes. We have altars, we light candles, we play soft music and create a safe sanctuary for ourselves. This is beautiful, and quite necessary, in this day and age. In the quiet of your home, it's easier to find peace.
But how are we supposed to maintain our centered, calm state when we go out into the world with honking horns, negative attitudes, and frustrating situations? I do believe this is the next challenging step for humanity: creating peace where there is none.
It starts with you and me.
If you're reading this post, then you are someone who is awake. You are someone who is aware of yourself and working to be a better person. I'm glad you're here.
When you and I make the choice to maintain our center and sense of peace out in the world, we actually shift the energy everywhere we go. We turn stressful situations into graceful, ease-filled moments. We soften the fear and anger in others and spread a message of hope. We turn violence into peace JUST by staying centered.
This is our gift to give the world right now.
It's not an easy task, but practicing these 3 steps will jumpstart your ability to maintain your inner peace out in the world.
1. Surround yourself in light
Before you leave your house, close your eyes and imagine wrapping yourself in a blanket of light. Ask your higher self, angels, or guides to cloak you in a protective globe of white light that shields you from negativity and stressful, chaotic energy.
I really love using visualization and energy work to keep my vibration high when I go out into the world. If you don't believe in woo woo stuff like this, then I suggest experimenting with this like playing a little game. Don't take it seriously, just have fun with it. Allow yourself to play with energy and see how it works. After you experience the power of your own visualization and intention to protect your energy, you will most certainly believe in it.
2. Watch the thoughts you keep
We truly take our power back and own our inner peace when we start taking responsibility for the thoughts that we keep. Thoughts are fickle and fleeting, but if held tightly, they turn into the beliefs that determine what we attract into our realities. If you want to keep your peace, start by monitoring your thoughts.
Every moment, we have the opportunity to let go of thoughts that aren't serving us. When we go out into the world, we are bombarded by thoughts, attitudes, and energies of the people around us. Many times, we get upset if we start encountering a negative thought or vibe. We mistakenly take it to be our own - we take it personally. We assume that if we are thinking a thought, it must say something about who we are. No. A thought is a thought, and nothing more. You have the power to keep and release thoughts any time. This is your power to create peace.
The moment we get frustrated by the negativity we encounter is the moment we start taking it on and matching it vibrationally. We lower ourselves by identifying with the negative thoughts we encounter. This is a CHOICE. In any moment, we can release the thoughts we don't wish to keep and continue on our merry way.
Choose your thoughts wisely, my loves.
3. Embody love
You know what's the greatest protection against fear? LOVE. If you embody love everywhere you go, no negativity will touch you. If you grace every person you see with loving energy, everyone will be transformed by it. No matter how negative or scared or angry someone is, you will not be affected by them.
Feel love in your heart, in your body. Carry it like you are a vessel of love (cuz you are). Breathe love and speak love. Think love and feel love. Lead with a heart of love and peace will follow you everywhere you go.
If you have any hesitations or questions about these steps, check out the meditation video below for detailed guidance.
I love you guys, and I wish you the utmost peace and calm every day. I will see you out there in the world, and we will smile at each other. And we will make the world a better place.
All love always,
As I'm sitting in a coffee shop, typing away, with my lavender latte, it's raining outside here in "Sunny San Diego." Isn't that so life?! We can't hold on too tightly to expectations and outcomes. Sometimes it just pours rain in a sunny place.
And there are times when we are drenched and downtrodden by our own storms within. Dark clouds loom over hope, and emotions flow endlessly like infinite drops of rain. At least that's how I feel sometimes.
At these moments of darkness, I often feel lost in life or unclear about my path and purpose and what to do next. It's apparent that I'm stuck in my mind and can't hear the voice of my soul, the voice that always feels like home, the voice that guides me back to inspiration, hope, and clarity.
So how do I get back there? How do I start to feel at home again in my heart? How can I hear my soul?
This morning, two things became clear to me as I walked under a turquoise umbrella through the drizzle to my favorite coffee shop. Two important things showed me the path back to my soul.
1) Don't indulge your fears.
2) Follow your joy.
Ahh this first one is crucial and sometimes tricky! The mind loves to get wrapped up in the illusion of fear because its job is to protect you. So the mind will wander off to deep, dark, scary corners of the imagination thinking about all of the possible bad things that could happen to you. And hopefully by analyzing a million possible nightmares, the mind will figure out how to prevent them! But we know in our hearts that this is a dreadful waste of time & energy. So how do we stop ourselves from burrowing down into the rabbit hole of fear?
First of all, it's important to differentiate between the voices in your head. For simplicity's sake, let's just say you have a small mind and a big mind. The small mind is the one who indulges in fearful worry, trying to control circumstances and outwit the Universe. The small mind will drive you crazy if you let it!
But the big mind is the voice of strength, love, and protection. Big mind is the one to shut it down when small mind is scampering off into fear. When you feel your small mind wandering away into anxiety, stop those thoughts immediately and don't indulge in the tendency to daydream about your worst nightmares. Feel the guidance and love of your big mind, like that of a protective parent.
"No sweetheart, don't go there. You're going to be fine." Then laugh, sing, pray, or refocus on a hopeful thought to keep your energy up and out of small mind territory.
With practice, you'll soon start to recognize the voices of small mind and big mind and can learn to control the fearful indulgences of small mind with the direct, loving guidance of big mind.
So that's part 1: Don't indulge your fears.
The next part is really fun: Follow your joy!
One of the best ways to reconnect with your soul is to do what feels light, joyful, inspiring, or relaxing to you (often in the most simple and humble of ways). Honestly, your soul doesn't care how productive you are, how much money you make, what you ate for breakfast, or how many calories you burned at the gym. Your soul operates in BEING not DOING.
It can be tempting to think that you have to have a certain career in order to be living your soul's purpose. Or that your soul is only satisfied when you are "successful" on the outside. But truthfully, the soul exists in the pure laughter from deep in your belly or in the quiet peace of feeling your connection to all of life. The soul leaps for joy when you choose love over fear. The soul wants you to express as much joy as possible, not to be as rich, fit, or important as possible.
So when your small mind starts to worry about your success, your purpose, and your path, remember that your purpose exists only in this moment, right now. And your purpose right now is to let go of your fears and reside in your joy.
Following your joy can be anything that lights you upside. It could be something small like treating yourself to a latte, wearing your favorite shirt, making a homemade gift for a friend, or taking a picture that inspires you and posting it to Facebook. It doesn't have to be revolutionary, important, OR make you lots of money. The way back to the soul is through joy in the simple, small things.
Don't look for your soul in your career change, in your workout routine, or in your next relationship. Find your soul in the spark of joy within you that has no words, no expectations. Find your soul in the easy way of being that you already are.
With much love & joy,
P.S. Check out this video I made on Meditation Monday that discusses these two steps to hearing your soul
As difficult as pain can be... it is not wrong. Both physical and emotional pain have very important messages to bring us- we just need to learn how to decode them.
Many of us have been taught that feeling negative emotion (anger, fear, jealousy, despair) and going through physical illness or injury means we are doing something wrong. And while these symptoms often serve as red flags to look at a deeper issue that needs attention, I hope you'll join me in welcoming pain as a wonderful messenger and finding clarity through pain with radical self-love and acceptance.
The first step in finding clarity in your pain's messages is to allow the pain to be there. Yes, it's uncomfortable. But it's powerful for a reason. Start by letting yourself, your body, your inner child be right for feeling the pain. When you notice a physical, emotional, or mental symptom of pain, open your heart with curiosity as to what it is telling you. If you push the pain out of awareness, you send it right back into the shadow where it came from. Help yourself bring these deeper issues to the light by allowing their presence in your consciousness.
The second step is to BREATHE. DEEPLY. By taking full, deep breaths, we open our bodies physically and energetically to allow the emotion to pass through. The moment we judge ourselves and disagree with the pain, we create an energy blockage inside the body. When we don't accept our pain consciously and openly, we stop the energy flow in the body at whatever frequency the pain resonates. If it is a control issue, you may block the energy flow in the solar plexus (location of the Third Chakra). If it is a communication issue, you may block the energy flow in the throat (location of the Fifth Chakra). It is important to breathe and open the body to prevent any energy blockages from occurring (and sometimes emotional pain will manifest as physical pain as a result of these blockages). Imagine your body as a wide, open channel that allows emotion to flow effortlessly through. You are merely the conduit through which emotion can pass. Become big and expansive. Breathe deeply and allow the pain to flow. The sooner you accept the experience of emotion and pain, the sooner it will pass.
The third step in discovering the clarity in your pain is to not take it personally. Try not to identify with the pain and judge it as your mistake or your flaw. It's best to imagine being a curious observer, simply witnessing your human experience. Pain is a very important part of being human and you are absolutely RIGHT for feeling it. Imagine stepping outside yourself and searching for cues as to the deeper meaning in this specific pain. Learning about the chakras can be very helpful because physical symptoms often crop up in areas that resonate with a particular chakra, and each chakra relates to a different aspect of the self (as I mentioned earlier). Another helpful tip in discovering the messages in physical pain is to analyze which side of the body the pain is on. The left side of our body relates to feminine energy, our relationships with females, and our ability to receive, allow, embody. The right side of the body relates to masculine energy, our relationships with males, and our ability to give, control, produce. Become a curious investigator of your pain and value its messages like a secret treasure you're meant to discover.
The final step in finding the clarity in your pain, (and this is a helpful tip for pretty much anything) is to journal about it. Get out some paper or a special notebook and start writing. About anything, literally. Write about the pain- what does it feel like? How would you like to feel? Then freely write about anything else that comes up. Maybe you realize that the pain occurs when you have an argument with a particular person or when you sabotage yourself. Maybe the pain reminds you of a childhood memory. Let yourself explore all your feelings, even things unrelated to the current pain or current situation. Write until you feel empty of thought. Allow these words and messages to come up. You may discover a helpful hint that brings clarity to your pain.
Then sit back and love yourself THE MOST! Go for a walk, take a bath, enjoy a special treat. Do something loving and nurturing for yourself. Feel so proud of yourself for being brave enough to look into your pain with loving eyes and find its deeper meaning.
Check out this Meditation Monday video I created that will help you breathe through pain and welcome its deeper meaning.
Sending you extra love and light on the journey,
You may have heard quotes like this before. From the über-famous Twilight series to Shakespeare, many poets, writers, and teachers have illuminated (no pun intended) this delicate balance between the dark & light of our lives. And I must say, I believe I just lived this paradox.
You might remember that back in July, I hosted a one-month-sober challenge where I invited THE WORLD (haha, literally) to join me in spending the whole month of July sober in order to discover deeper clarity and awareness about ourselves and our journeys. WELL OH BOY... be careful what you wish for, cuz I got a BIG dose of gut-wrenching clarity that month. *Just goes to show how powerful our intentions are, yes?!*
I wrote about what I learned from sobriety at the end of the challenge, but what I didn't share with you was the deep & utter darkness I experienced that month. It began with realizing that I no longer want to pursue a music career at this time in my life. All of the work, schooling, equipment, practice, hope, tears, money, & energy that has gone into pursuing music for the last 4 years has come to a deadening, empty, depressing halt. If that didn't hurt enough, I saw the Amy Winehouse documentary (about her ultimate demise as an artist and beautiful being) and felt the heart-shattering pain of her turbulent journey that I could relate to in so many ways. I saw other very dark things around me: in my friends, on TV, in my nightmares. I couldn't get out of this heaviness and despair.
BUT I KNEW, deep deep down, that there would be light after this. I remember telling my mom on the phone, "I really know that everything will be alright, but I'm just tired of going through this." Please hear me, it takes relentless faith and so much love & compassion for yourself to live through these dark nights of the soul, and after living it myself, I KNOW that YOU CAN GET THROUGH IT TOO! So rest assured, sweet pea, light is on the way...
For the whole month of August, I needed rest and healing from this powerful clearing experience. It really felt like I had been energetically gutted of so many old beliefs, patterns, and plans. I didn't know what inspiration could possibly fill me next, I just knew I was empty. I needed rest.
My friends, I'm still patiently waiting for the next surge of energy, purpose, and inspiration to come, but I believe it's being delicately formed in me now. I feel glimpses of hope, light, and ideas. I woke up this morning with soft & gentle guidance: close your eyes, meditate, draw from your decks of tarot cards, write. this. blog. *Thank you.*
2015 began with SO MUCH LIGHT and inspiration that I was freaking blinded and completely blissed out, like I was surfing a mountain of jewels. YEAH. Then exactly halfway through the year, just like I asked, I was given the deepest, darkest clearing for the highest, brightest clarity. I can only imagine the kind of light and inspiration that is coming to me now as a result of this powerful experience.
*Dear friends... the more darkness you experience, the more light you are capable of experiencing!! Trust that.*
So... my tips for getting through your darkest times??
1. Go deeper into the darkness: When you feel yourself becoming sad, lost, empty, follow that feeling deeper. Allow it to be, and discover all that it is teaching you. Let it happen. Be heavy and dark as long as you need to so that you can be cleared completely.
2. Have the utmost faith that light is on the way: You can only truly allow the dark times to fully be expressed if you have the utmost faith that everything will be okay and that this dark night of the soul is temporary. BELIEVE that light, hope, & inspiration are on the way, and you'll find the patience and courage to delve deeper into your darkness.
3. Love yourself the most: Resist the urge to judge yourself for not being the "perfect" happy person who has everything figured out. News flash: that's no one! Have so much love & compassion for yourself. Speak to yourself as you would a scared child. Be the safest person for you to be around. Love yourself more than anyone else ever could. Your own self-love will see you through this.
It is with truly humbling gratitude & grace that I share with you my stories and my inspirations. It is my honor to be connecting with you in this way.
So much love,
Photo credit: Picture Quotes
Gia writes about her journey through life and the many twists and turns of spiritual growth, relationships, health & healing, life as a performer, and the ever-unfolding path back to her heart.
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